Volumes have been written over the years on communication skills in how to play nice in the corporate sandbox for developing customer loyalty. But did you know many of these same techniques have evolved into “compassionate communication” skill sets?
Originally, compassionate communication was developed for building couple intimacy and for resolving conflict. It has now found its way into hospitals and caregiving facilities, where doctors and nurses use it to improve their interactions with patients and colleagues.
What is “compassionate communication”? Surprisingly its more of an emphasis on listening than speaking. A compassionate communicator is training the mind to remain focused when another is speaking. We’re hearing their words and noticing the non-verbal cues reflected in the voice, face and body language. Mark Waldman says, “deep listening also interrupts the inner speech that is constantly produced by the language centers of the brain. He says, “when we learn to step back and observe, a new type of silence is created. Thus, allowing us to give greater attention to what the other person is saying and bolsters our capacity to intuit what the other person is feeling, including subtle forms of honesty or deceptiveness that are reflected in the micro-expressions of the face.”
Compassionate Communication is more than using words to express our position. It is listening with a laser focus not only with the ears or the eyes but also with the brain. Using our brain to pick up the body language of truth, pain, sincerity and love while engaged in conversation. Its coming into the dialogue without a personal agenda or preconceived outcome. When we do this during the exchange, we tend to experience a deeper form of understanding. I don’t know about you but I want to deepen the quality of communication with the people I love and care for, whether friend or work partner. We all need to be heard during an exchange. Really hearing what a spouse, a friend or co-worker is saying, even though at first I may not agree, can exhibit that I care what is being said and how I value the relationship.
Excerpts from “Words Can Change Your Brain”, by Mark Waldman and Andrew Newborn, MD, 2012